Nautical Jokesters Gifts

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

"So kind of him to let us have the guest ark all to ourselves."

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

It's a good thing we checked: There's a metallic hook in there!

Man looks out of his porthole window and notices the ship is upside down.

"Are you any good at closing a sail."

Excess Baggage: Cruise passengers can come up with some pretty amazing questions.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Fishing from the Pier

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"