Rural Jester Gifts

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

The Rural Bidet...

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

I fart more than that!

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

A Venus cow trap.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

A baby in court

Sick Rancher Humor

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

Crow and fox

Cockerel sings the blues...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Clandestine cows.

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

Disorder in the Court!