Farm Jester Gifts

The herd of hearing.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

Cockerel sings the blues...

'He's all eyes!'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"My entire family's coming for the holidays."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"All rise."

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

The Rural Bidet...

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

COWS: Spare cow

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'Baby sand shark eat their siblings.'

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

"For the last time, young man, I said 'NO'! You may NOT feed bubble gum to the dog!"

"We're a big, happy family here, so think of your firing as tough love."

Dad’s Homework Assignment

"I've changed my mind son - I've decided that I do want to be a financial burden on you . . !"

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'