Animal Farming Jester Gifts

Ostrich Farm

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"They’re real."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

The worm that churned!

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

The Rural Bidet...

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

COWS: Spare cow

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

The herd of hearing.

'Open it... I think they have to go potty.'

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

Bill finally receives a celery commensurate with his responsibilities.

"When we hired you, we said we would offer a giant celery... Not a salary."

'No Dad, that is NOT healthy fast food!'

'Yes, she does eat a lot but she gives a lot of milk too.'

'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'

Turkey with an ax to grind.

"Well...from what I can remember, your father looked a bit like a turkey baster."

COWS: Cow Carrot Incentive Error

Man cutting grass.

'Yes, Hawkins, I did tell you to never show your face around this farm again.'

Turkey Hostage.

"This old dog can learn new tricks. . . Watch me make this meat loaf disappear!"

"I can't stand rutabagas - couldn't you pay me for NOT growing broccoli instead?"

'Eat the grass in perfect circles, It drives them crazy,'

"That's the problem with buying a new cow. All this darn packaging!"

"No one turned in a cow, pig or chicken Mr. McDonald."

'I knew it - the Orwellian nightmare is coming true.'

...and finally, there will be no more pogoing in the farmhouse!

A rare, and horrifying case, of true animal magnetism.