Agricultural Jester Gifts

'Yes, Hawkins, I did tell you to never show your face around this farm again.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'He's all eyes!'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

The Rural Bidet...

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

They're Brazillian!

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

'AAAAH! MILK LEECH!'

The herd of hearing.

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

'The fruiter surmised that the zineb caused catface.'

'That's a definite 'no' to us being a zombie then?'

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

Watering a plant in the rain.

Ostrich Farm

Bill finally receives a celery commensurate with his responsibilities.

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

"When we hired you, we said we would offer a giant celery... Not a salary."

"Ruddy Japanese knotweed gets EVERYWHERE."