Agricultural Jester Gifts

'Yes, Hawkins, I did tell you to never show your face around this farm again.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Cockerel sings the blues...

'He's all eyes!'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

The Rural Bidet...

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

They're Brazillian!

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

The herd of hearing.

'AAAAH! MILK LEECH!'

'That's a definite 'no' to us being a zombie then?'

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

'The fruiter surmised that the zineb caused catface.'

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

Watering a plant in the rain.

Ostrich Farm

"Oh lord, I think we're in a Japanese horror movie!"

Bill finally receives a celery commensurate with his responsibilities.

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

'No Dad, that is NOT healthy fast food!'

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.