Garden Jester Gifts

Watering a plant in the rain.

It quickly became apparent to Daryl that his remote controlled lawn mower was not a good idea.

Clown Gardening

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

'Ms. Marbley, bring in your pad and a pair of pruning shears.'

Sowing the Seeds of Doubt - "I've no idea what these are but something will come up."

"Ruddy Japanese knotweed gets EVERYWHERE."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Crow and fox

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

Genetic Research Institute - "Darling we were made for each other."

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

The herd of hearing.

"I'm a plant worker."

'My husband never does anything in a hurry either: Not only is he a sloth, he's a lazy sloth...'

'Must be Pandora's.'