Greens Jester Gifts

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Women in a cross country race

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Yawning barristers in court

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Ski kicker.

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice