Graveyard Jester Gifts

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Life after death

Sick Rancher Humor

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Cockerel sings the blues...

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Ventriloquist Grave

'He never listened to his mother!'

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

Pranking Zombies

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

In the houseplant cemetery.

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

Respects to Kevin Woodcock.

Owner tells dog to put back all the bones he's dug up

'Well, not his very last words, just his last words on twitter.'

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

Michael Hall 1930-2002: wonderful father, devoted husband, benevolent employer, generous citizen, BUT...