Rural Jester Pillows

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

The Rural Bidet...

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

I fart more than that!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

A Venus cow trap.

A baby in court

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Sick Rancher Humor

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Crow and fox

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Clandestine cows.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

"...And now show us what you said."

Disorder in the Court!

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'