It Jesters Gifts

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I hate performance review season."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

Never poke fun.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

"Must be the life to work in a castle. You get paid by a rich king and you don’t have to go through every shift smelling elephant butt."

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Work's been really hard."

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

'It certainly is a big one!'