Jesters Gifts

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I hate performance review season."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

Pumping up wig in blender.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

Never poke fun.

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'