Rank Jesters Gifts

'A Vice Admiral? Lot of vice in the Navy is there?'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Beer Order

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"You know very well what fish!"

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

'Where did this extra

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

Rugby oldies

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

'Sit down, Roger! You're creating drag.'

'I've just had a terrible nightmare that we were living sensibly, within our budget!'

'The justice will be swift - the attorney fees, swifter.'

"The business of crime DOES pay. It pays our salaries!"

Looking for a cool cat.

'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

Where legal teams but their outfits.

Echelons 5-15

"Your Honor, the state has every reason to consider the defendant an extremely high flight risk."

'The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? That doesn't allow for much flexibility.'

'Mr. Justice, must you keep repeating 'nobody can fire me, nobody can dire me, nobody can dire me'?'

'Uh oh! I don't like the looks of that jury.'

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'