Rank-jester Gifts

Echelons 5-15

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

Army Barracks

'Where did this extra

"The most important feature of economic predictions is trying not to laugh while making them."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

The boss is always right.

'...I mean on the one hand you have a set of avaricious money and status obsessed paper shuffler...'

'A slump? Heavens, no! This is just a little market elasticity!'

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

'You need to recognise who your superiors are... I'm one, for a start.'

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

"Eddie, thanks to GPS, we no longer say your stocks are dropping. We say 'recalculating'."

Look at it this way Hepworth, somebody has to hold the corporate ladder.

Army Promotions Board. You need to select one of these contenders for promotion to lieutenant colonet. It's like being in college. I have to pick a major.

'Looks like the economy is recovering!'

'I see you state here that you handle stress very well...'

"I may seem like a dour sort, Mr. Penfeather, but, I assure you, I can smile with the best of them when the occasion demands."

Blood Drive. Your blood type is A-Positive. Wow, Frank! That's the first A-Plus you've ever made!