Stock Jester Gifts

'Where did this extra

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'What's wrong now?'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Career Choices

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'