Financial Jester Gifts

"Now we just have to sit back and wait for the Fed to bail us out."

Accounting department cash flow.

'Take this and have a masseuse massage the numbers until they fit into out proposed profit projections.'

'Wall Street' 'Dip'

'If lending money is against your principles, how about making a small gift?'

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'Can you check my balance.'

'I'm e-mailing our taxes. Do you think we'll have a better chance of not getting audited if I add a smiley face emoticon?'

'Order our 'Get Out Of Debt NOW!' video series. Only ten easy payments of $29.95!'

'We're your family... please don't audit us.'

"Well! I'm already pre-disapproved for a credit card."

"You can't fool me! It's bad news, isn't it?"

Disposable Income.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'In short, gentlemen; we're in deep doo doo.'

Before and After Xmas

A man chasing money with a butterfly net

'Bill says there's no money in our bank account, but I've still got some blank cheques left.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes, but I'm not responsible for the tax ramifications.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Do we have any outstanding checks?"

"I'd also like to take this opportunity to declare personal bankruptcy."

'Remember when you lent me money and I said I'd never forget you? Well, I'm broke again.'

"You're behind on your mortgage, you're unemployed and you owe back taxes." "That's not what they mean when they say, 'Apply pressure.'"

'Does this mean that the coal merchant has given up asking for payment.'

'Relax, it's not for you. I'm here for your Yoik.'

'Well, the joke's on you -- I don't HAVE $873.91.'

"Any chance you could reimburse me for your birthday card?"

Through a bizarre series of wiring mistakes at the assembly plant, Frank's new computer came equipped with a Paradigm Shift Key.

'It's simply not good enough that I don't pay any taxes. Find a way for the government to pay me.'

"Sure it's a negative prognosis, but wouldn't it be better to focus on the positive effect this is going to have on my personal economy?"

"Well, that's out. What about the Cayman Islands?"

"All I know is, I named my pet porcupine Bill Ackman, and he immediately lost a hundred points."

"I've managed to beat the taxman, I had a coffee in Starbucks, upgraded my Vodaphone and did some shopping on Amazon."