Fiscal Jester Gifts

"Wot, no economy?"

IRS, 'How about that -- 100 unearned income.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Why markets crash.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

A baby in court

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

'Wait a minute....!

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."