Government Jester Gifts

"With this baby I can submit your taxes electrically at the speed of light. Of course, you can expect any refund to be coming via mule train."

Tommy Tuberville

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Dog walking Human.

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'This is a job for a consultant.'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

CEO.

A baby in court

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'