Bureaucracy Jester Gifts

'I'm glad to see that you've finally come to your census.'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'

"Thanks to this innovative, state-of-the-art communication system, we can now support an even slower bureucracy'"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

"It's part of the new patient feedback protocol."

The customer is never right.

'We cannot accept you deduction of the taxes you paid last year as a bad investment.'

"We've agreed to count it as both a wave and a particle for tax purposes."

"Never mind what it's for!! It's paperwork... just do it!"

'First, we'll have to form a committee to study the impact this will have on the economy.'

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"Yes, we are accepting resumes. Just put yours in our resume pool."

"We have a new policy document on 'Christmas Cards' to ensure that we don't send or display ay that may offend or alienate clients or staff with different belief systems..."

"If you want to know the time, I'll have to refer you to the press office."

"But on a positive note we've published a pamphlet in 37 languages detailing all the services we can no longer provide."

"I do not change the building codes every week. I do it every other week."

"Forceps, swab, scalpel, insurance forms."

There's only one way out of this office, Alansky, and your looking at it

Hell. Hold on

"No matter who's in office, the political landscape stays the same."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'