Bureaucratic Jester Gifts

'Have you got an Environmental Impact Statement for that castle, son?'

Nice idea. I see you've made the small print smaller.

'I'm the Assistant to the Deputy Undersecretary.. or something very much like that.'

'I'm going to have to reclassify you on my expenses form.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"I hate performance review season."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'