Legislative Jester Gifts

"Of course as MPs we make laws, but surely you don't expect us to observe them?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

A baby in court

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Justice 4 Ron

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."