Legislative Jester T-Shirts

"Of course as MPs we make laws, but surely you don't expect us to observe them?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

A baby in court

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Justice 4 Ron

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Who Let the Dawg In?

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

Two lawyers in a royal court

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."