Budget Jester Gifts

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"

"If we only use $5 for marketing, advertising and operations, we have enough to get a pizza for lunch."

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

Mon emperor, the empress Josephine is requesting 10,000 francs for shopping. Tell her I'm a little short.

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

"Do you think we could botox the economy?"

"We thought it would save us money if we bought you the wood, and you made your desk yourself."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Everything's gone up."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'Wait a minute....!

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).