Budget Jokesters Gifts

'I came home with $44.75, just enough to pay for dinner out.'

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'The poor economy is hitting everywhere, Have you noticed they cut back on pockets and halos.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget Cuts

Budget reaction.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"It's dress down day!"

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

"There have been a few cutbacks in the anesthesiology department."

STRIP Hambone: Zebra computer repairman

The main reason I was chosen to be the senior manager is my ability to always be calm, wise and right. . .What's that in your hand?! Is that a shiny thing?!!. . ."

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."

'We're looking for a consensus-building team player, if that's all right with you.'

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Living Longer Magazine.

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

How about swapping wives for the day?