Budget Joke Lover Gifts

'Cuts in Roman times.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Budget reaction.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

Budget Opticians.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"My only problem with fiscal restraint is the restraint part."

"Why don't you just apply for a government bailout, Daddy?"

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

Jeremy's Allotment

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'

"I was going to text you that you'v lost all your retirement savings, but there isn't an emoji for that."

More NASA Budget Cuts. . .

The Stimulus.