Budgeting Humor Lover Gifts

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

'When I was your age, you could live all year on a billion dollars.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget reaction.

Budget Cuts

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

What to do if a rhino owes you money....

Budget Opticians.

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

'Cuts in Roman times.'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

Say it with flowers.

Bankruptcy court

"Honestly, I think this was a waste of money."

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."