Budgeting Humor Appreciator Gifts

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

God bless our home equity line of credit.

Fiscal cliff

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Budget Cuts

Budget reaction.

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"This is where the party budget ran out."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

What to do if a rhino owes you money....

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Cuts in Roman times.'

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

'All of you get your hands in the air and give me all your money!'

'We can pay you, or we can give you healthcare coverage, but we can't do both.'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'