Budgeting Humor Appreciator Gifts

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

God bless our home equity line of credit.

Fiscal cliff

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Budget Cuts

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget reaction.

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"This is where the party budget ran out."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

What to do if a rhino owes you money....

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

'Cuts in Roman times.'

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'We can pay you, or we can give you healthcare coverage, but we can't do both.'

'All of you get your hands in the air and give me all your money!'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'