Budget Analyst Humor Gifts

"Ofcom says we could get post 3 times a week."

Budget Cuts

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Fiscal cliff

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"There have been a few cutbacks in the anesthesiology department."

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

'I know the zoo had cutbacks but this is ridiculous!'

"One good thing about a low budget district, the school year is shorter."

Cost of the military.

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

Avocado Prices

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

GOP Pied Piper.

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'

All the Kings Horses and All the Kings Men

"Hey, I'm sorry...cutbacks, y'know!"

Just do your job, and stop worring about low bidders

'The poor economy is hitting everywhere, Have you noticed they cut back on pockets and halos.'

More NASA Budget Cuts. . .

How About Wedgies?

'I came home with $44.75, just enough to pay for dinner out.'

Detour to your house.

'...The bad news is that the crusade had some cost overruns....'

Why should I let you leave work, Rudy. Because my shift's over. I've calculated it. Turns out you spend 12.2% of your day mopping. That means in just one month, I pay you more to mop than the price of one Roomba. The Roomba robot would work 24 hours a day if I told it to. Would like a 12.2% pay cut, of shall I rename thee. "Roomba Park"? Goodnight, Scrooge.

Reduction of Personnel.