Humorous Budgeter Gifts

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

Fiscal cliff

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Budget reaction.

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget Cuts

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"This is where the party budget ran out."

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

Budget Opticians.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Cuts in Roman times.'

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

"Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax. Not having to pay it."

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

"Fortunately, we have an excellent pay-as-you-go plan of just 2,359 easy payments."

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."