Budget Analyst With Humor Gifts

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Budget Cuts

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"This is where the party budget ran out."

Royal Mail Privatisation

'I know the zoo had cutbacks but this is ridiculous!'

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

"One good thing about a low budget district, the school year is shorter."

Cost of the military.

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

"We considered a number of alternatives but this was the cheapest."

'Sorry. This social service cancelled. Thank you for helping us use the money for the military.'

"The solution is to do the same as president Trump would do.. Attack on Twitter!"

'All this talk about spending cuts has generated a populist movement for a salary cap for politicians!'

GOP Pied Piper.

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'

How About Wedgies?

'The poor economy is hitting everywhere, Have you noticed they cut back on pockets and halos.'

'Due to cuts, the school will only be open 6 to 10 on Sunday night.'

"Hey, I'm sorry...cutbacks, y'know!"

More NASA Budget Cuts. . .

'I came home with $44.75, just enough to pay for dinner out.'

War plane dropping IOU's instead of bombs due to budget cuts

Detour to your house.

'...The bad news is that the crusade had some cost overruns....'

"Ofcom says we could get post 3 times a week."