Budget Analyst Humorist Gifts

Detour to your house.

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Budget Cuts

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Budget reaction.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

Royal Mail Privatisation

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

Budget Opticians.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

"One good thing about a low budget district, the school year is shorter."

'I know the zoo had cutbacks but this is ridiculous!'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

"The solution is to do the same as president Trump would do.. Attack on Twitter!"

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

GOP Pied Piper.

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'