Budget Humor Lovers Gifts

'He says it's cheaper than hiring border guards.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

Budget reaction.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

What to do if a rhino owes you money....

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

Budget Opticians.

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'Cuts in Roman times.'

Bankruptcy court

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

"My only problem with fiscal restraint is the restraint part."

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

Jeremy's Allotment

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'