Budget Banter Lovers Gifts

Jeremy's Allotment

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

Security/Savings

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Economic Experts

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'Cuts in Roman times.'

"Safety has been a problem, but it's worth the money we save by eliminating company cars."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

The cost of Halloween.

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

"My only problem with fiscal restraint is the restraint part."

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

This one's got power brakes, power steering, power windows and power payments!

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

'This second prescription is to calm you down after you see the cost of the first one.'

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'You pay taxes so I can go to school? Hey, that's where you can save money.'

'He says it's cheaper than hiring border guards.'

"It's a small town with a very small budget!"

'I'm on the inflation diet. Every week I spend the same amount of money and come home with less food!'

Man astounded by his invoice

"I'm afraid we couldn't afford an artificial so we transplanted yours with a can of peaches."