Budget-conscious Lover Gifts

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Affordable housing

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Low income vampires.

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

The cost of Halloween.

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

"If anyone objects to this 'cut price' wedding, let him speak now or call at weekend cheap rate."

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'