Budget-conscious Darling Gifts

'Cecil takes me to the museum every Saturday.' - 'What's he studying, economy?'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Low income vampires.

Affordable housing

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'You never see one that says save some income.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

The cost of Halloween.

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"I told you that a £50 facelift was a bad idea!"

'Well, Mom - it's about that time when you drive us to school again...'

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

"Looks like the BBC cutbacks are starting to kick in."

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

"This is of course a totally fake fur coat and ten thousand dollars is a lot of money, but quality and political correctness cost!"

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

'This second prescription is to calm you down after you see the cost of the first one.'

I'd like a refund please. Christmas cost me an arm and a leg this year!

£17 for a haircut? No, £2 for a haircut and £15 for search fees.

Fresh skinless and boneless chicken

When Tia Carmen says... "I bought Christmas gifts for all your cousins!" it means...she did her shopping at the dollar store.

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