Budget-conscious Darling Pillows

'Cecil takes me to the museum every Saturday.' - 'What's he studying, economy?'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

Low income vampires.

Affordable housing

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'You never see one that says save some income.'

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

The cost of Halloween.

'Well, Mom - it's about that time when you drive us to school again...'

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

"I told you that a £50 facelift was a bad idea!"

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

"This is of course a totally fake fur coat and ten thousand dollars is a lot of money, but quality and political correctness cost!"

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

"Looks like the BBC cutbacks are starting to kick in."

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

'This second prescription is to calm you down after you see the cost of the first one.'

Fresh skinless and boneless chicken

£17 for a haircut? No, £2 for a haircut and £15 for search fees.

I'd like a refund please. Christmas cost me an arm and a leg this year!

When Tia Carmen says... "I bought Christmas gifts for all your cousins!" it means...she did her shopping at the dollar store.

'I'm on the inflation diet. Every week I spend the same amount of money and come home with less food!'