Budget-conscious Romantics Pillows

Thrift: 'More! More!'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Say it with flowers

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

Valentine's day skinflint.

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

The cost of Halloween.

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

"A MOHAWK is what I get for asking for an affordable hair cut?!"

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

"This is of course a totally fake fur coat and ten thousand dollars is a lot of money, but quality and political correctness cost!"

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"