Budget-conscious Romantics Pillows

Thrift: 'More! More!'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Say it with flowers

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

Affordable housing

"I'd like an engagement ring that proclaims my uncompromising love - for under fifty bucks."

Low income vampires.

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

Valentine's day skinflint.

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

The cost of Halloween.

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

"This is of course a totally fake fur coat and ten thousand dollars is a lot of money, but quality and political correctness cost!"

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

"A MOHAWK is what I get for asking for an affordable hair cut?!"

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".