Penny-pinching Romantics Pillows

'I don't date them until they have a free bus pass - saves money on a night out...'

Life is for the birds.

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

You're the botanicals in my gin

Dancing in pyjamas

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

Love is Blind.

Cupid

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"We REALLY do get better with age."

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

Puppy Love

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"Everybody meets online these days."

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"I had a lovely evening talking trash with you."

Old Book Smell

'Nothing like a Romantic stroll in Saturn's acid rain.'

Tunnel of Love.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

Power/Expenditures

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

Enjoying the fishing? Waiting for a bite. Ha! All you want is to spot the cute guy. For your information, I'm looking for fish! Really? My hook is baited I'm trolling. Hope you catch something! Me, too!

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

Online Dating for Dummies