Penny-pinching Philosophers Pillows

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

Power/Expenditures

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Financial Eyesight

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

Dispute over pocket money

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

Pollution and money

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

'Every time I get in touch with my inner child, he asks me for money.'

"We thought it would save us money if we bought you the wood, and you made your desk yourself."

'He went into shock when you presented him with the hospital bill.'

'Perk up. Just think of all that interest piling up at more than 5% per annum.'

'I don't date them until they have a free bus pass - saves money on a night out...'

'I'm afraid there's no tax deductibility for 'A life wasted in fruitless search for fulfillment through the acquisition of meaningless wealth'.'

'How much allowance do you get?'

A Man Recieving His Wages.

'Remember, my allowance helps redistribute wealth, since all the money in this country is in the hands of grown ups.'

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meals!"