Penny-pinching Philosophers Pillows

Economics 101. Now I understand why older people are said to be "over the hill," it's because they're leaving a mountain of debt behind them.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

Power/Expenditures

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Financial Eyesight

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

Dispute over pocket money

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

Pollution and money

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

'Every time I get in touch with my inner child, he asks me for money.'

"We thought it would save us money if we bought you the wood, and you made your desk yourself."

Enlightenment $5. Hey, I gave you a twency. Where's my change. Change comes from within.

Oh, darn. I've said too much

'He went into shock when you presented him with the hospital bill.'

'I don't date them until they have a free bus pass - saves money on a night out...'

'Perk up. Just think of all that interest piling up at more than 5% per annum.'

'How much allowance do you get?'

'I'm afraid there's no tax deductibility for 'A life wasted in fruitless search for fulfillment through the acquisition of meaningless wealth'.'

'Remember, my allowance helps redistribute wealth, since all the money in this country is in the hands of grown ups.'

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

A Man Recieving His Wages.

Hey boss, it's almost the middle of March and I haven't been paid yet. Are you sure? Perhaps I already paid you for March back in February. Perhaps I've been paying you a whole month early for the last 16 years, and so you aren't actually entitled to another check until April. If you show me your very first check stub from 16 years ago, we could clear this up. Very. Mad. Man.