Budget-conscious Buddies Pillows

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I just..."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Expensive greeting cards.

The spend is high

"I guess I really was spending too much money on lattes."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

Security/Savings

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Affordable housing

Tony Blair - EU budget.

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Low income vampires.

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

Everyone waited as Allen figured out how much the meal had cost per bite.

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

Economic Experts