Budget Lovers Pillows

"Well, I see the treasury as half-EMPTY!"

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

Overdraft limit.

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

The spend is high

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

How much would you take off for cash?

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

Security/Savings

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

Tony Blair - EU budget.

Affordable housing

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Low income vampires.

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

Everyone waited as Allen figured out how much the meal had cost per bite.

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'