Budget Aficionados Pillows

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Online Shopping.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

The spend is high

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

Bargains

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

Family Budgets

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Garage Sales Anonymous

Tony Blair - EU budget.

Final clearance sale.

sale

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Low income vampires.

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.