Budget Shopper Pillows

I'll wait here. What do you want in a mattress? On that helps me fall asleep fast. Then this is your bed. Only $1,250. For a few hundred bucks more, this super sleeper is great. Comfy. How about that one. It's the $400 econo brand. I figured. ZZZZ.

'Joyce, remember those cheap bulbs you bought?'

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

'Man! talk about turning a lemon into lemonade!'

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

'We're not sure if it's a good economic indicator or a bad economic indicator, but garage sales are up 17 over this time last year.'

"Long term ambition. . . ? Well, I'd love to eventually appear in tawdry adverts for budget supermarkets. . ."

"Crikey! Economic migrants from Middle England."

"It's a sandwich you don't really want plus a drink you can't stand and a snack you're trying to give up."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Sale.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

The spend is high

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"