Budget Shopper Gifts

'Joyce, remember those cheap bulbs you bought?'

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

'Man! talk about turning a lemon into lemonade!'

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

'We're not sure if it's a good economic indicator or a bad economic indicator, but garage sales are up 17 over this time last year.'

"Long term ambition. . . ? Well, I'd love to eventually appear in tawdry adverts for budget supermarkets. . ."

"It's a sandwich you don't really want plus a drink you can't stand and a snack you're trying to give up."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Sale.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'He must be going economy!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

DIY marriage counseling.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Expensive greeting cards.

The spend is high

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."