Budget-savvy Shoppers Gifts

'Now don't let any of these slick salesmen talk you into a luxury model.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Sale.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Garage Music

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

Garage sale.

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

January Sales

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

Avocado Prices

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

Wine Prices

Basic Shelter.