Price-conscious Shopper Gifts

Pharmacy. These days a miracle drug is one that I can afford.

Sale.

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

Staunch lady at grocer's

Crisis Buzz.

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

Avocado Prices

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Side effects include thinking prices on medicine is unfairly high."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Garage Music

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

January Sales

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'