Cost-conscious Consumers Gifts

Purified Water. Look at these prices! Distilled waters run steep!

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Sale.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Crisis Buzz.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

Garage Music

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Affordable housing

Sam's Nation Building

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Low income vampires.

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'