Budget-conscious Shoppers Gifts

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Sale.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Garage Music

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Low income vampires.

Affordable housing

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

Avocado Prices

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

January Sales

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

Wine Prices

Basic Shelter.

Pharmacy. These days a miracle drug is one that I can afford.