Budget-conscious Shoppers Pillows

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Sale.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

Garage Music

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

Low income vampires.

Affordable housing

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Avocado Prices

January Sales

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

Wine Prices

Basic Shelter.

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'