Budget Savvy Shopper Pillows

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

Sale.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

Crisis Buzz.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Everything for a buck.

The Bargain Brand

How much would you take off for cash?

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Low income vampires.

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Garage sale.

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

Affordable housing

"Wow, they want $10,000!"