Budget-friendly Shopper Pillows

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Sale.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

Garage Music

The Bargain Brand

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

How much would you take off for cash?

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Garage sale.

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"